Throughout my mission I have been annoyed by construction. Would be nice, pretty street views, and city landscapes are dirtied by the non-stop tearing up and building that happens everywhere. I have noticed that it makes for a good metaphor when related to my personal growth. Often it would be nice to just be still, to not have anything undergoing work. We as people are always working on different aspects. Sometimes everywhere and other Times only a little. It seems that as soon as one project is finished multiple others have already popped up. Some areas seem to always be under construction, others will need reconstruction. I often think that I just want it all to be done, finished. I was sharing my irritation with another missionary about construction and he said that he likes seeing it because it means that cities are always improving. We are always under construction, often that means things are messy and an inconvenience but it also means that we are always growing and developing. I still get frustrated but I am trying to appreciate construction – both out in the world as well as my personal growth.
I went to Bydgoszcz on exchange this past week – it was so good. I got to be with Elder Hubbard so of course it was a ton of fun. We were able to talk about trials of being close to the end and encourage each other. This week we will have zone conference and all the elders from my group will be there – one last gathering before our last.
This week we had a few good things happen. Elder Larsen and I went searching for less-active members of the Gdańsk branch. The addresses were wrong or didn’t exist but we had an adventure that day seeing some really beautiful, rural parts of our area. With the sisters we had an interactive finding activity in town about gratitude, it just put a smile on my face.
Recently, I have been trying to feel a current love and passion for my mission and it fluctuates. Usually, I am excited for church but yesterday I wasn’t. Luckily, it all turned around once I got there. We had really uplifting meetings and my love for the members was strong. Recently, I have also found how powerful music is and how much it heals and energizes my soul.
There were a few conversations and inspired talks that lead up to it, this past week during personal study I experienced a miracle. Elder Hubbard was asked to give a talk last Sunday about what to do when losing your faith. He shared his talk with me which had been based off of Sister Rosemary M. Wixom’s talk from last General Conference, „Returning to Faith”. So while at the chapel for English class, I downloaded the talk and listened to it the next morning. The discussions Sister Smith and I had shared on the bus to and from Bydgoszcz (she had an exchange as well) had prepared me to be open to the message. Not only was the talk comforting but something sparked a bright feeling inside of me. The Spirit brought to my remembrance the missionaries that have been fasting and praying for me as I go through this hard time. I remember my family who had done the same. I felt the love they all had for me. Sometimes difficult to accept.
I have been trying to understand the Atonement more. Something I have always held dear is that Christ perfectly understands us thanks to the atonement but lately that has sounded hollow. As I felt the love of my family and fellow missionaries I also felt Christ’s love. I knew that He knew that their prayers and support were exactly what I needed. My hope that God does have a plan and answers our prayer through others was restored. Love conquers all. I am grateful for God’s plan, for Christ’s love and enabling power, and for the love and comfort from my family and friends. God’s timing is important. Miracles happen!
Starszy Kimball
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