Well it's been a while since I've had a good emailing session or at least it feels like it so I would like to catch you up on things.
Last transfer was hard, I ran into some depression and it was the most challenging time of my mission. That being said, I learned many many lessons. Often missionaries say that their hardest times were also their favorite - so far that hasn't been true on my mission, but this past transfer fits that description. As dysfunctional and challenging as my life was - I love that time - sure I fantasize it looking back, but even in the moment there were some of my favorite memories. I put my whole heart into Gdańsk and I love the people there - it ripped me leaving that city. As hard as it was to leave, I feel satisfied and fulfilled with my four months. I am confident that I received what Heavenly Father had in store for me.
Now I am back in Warsaw. Leaving Warsaw to Gdańsk was difficult but I didn't have the same peace about my work. Being back has been a wonderful, sitting in church yesterday felt so natural. I have received some of the most specific guidance concerning the people to whom I ought to reach out. Often in missionary work we are focused on finding and meeting new people but coming back to Warsaw I have the opportunity to reconnect with those I worked with before. Now I have learned many lessons and many of these people have been on my mind for a while, now with a fresh view I look forward to meeting and talking with them.
Working with Elder Retallick has been a real pleasure, it's a change from training to working with somebody from my MTC group. It's a different experience with new dynamics, especially with our responsibilities. I think the biggest hurdle I'm trying to hop over is understanding the role of leaders - there is a lot I don't understand and my pride makes it difficult for me to be a follower. I have started to learn more about the truth behind principles and I look forward to comprehending more fully the purpose of leadership.
Life does not seem real right now. Maybe because I feel so old in the mission now, maybe because I'm back in Warsaw but things have changed so much, maybe because of the change in my day to day missionary life. I don't feel bad but it's a change of scenery for sure and I am back to taking things a day at a time.
I'm not sure if there was anything super cultural or cool this past week. On Monday night we gathered with all of the missionaries preparing to depart and we shared our testimonies, beliefs, experiences. At the end Patrycja, a member currently staying at the mission home who just received her mission call to the London visitors center, shared some reflections and feelings. She sweetly thanked the missionaries for all we do on behalf of the small but mighty membership here in Poland. She let us know how we are viewed and how important our examples are. The Spirit was strong and I felt the confirmation of her words as I thought back to those I have worked with and labored to help. Last night we met a man at his front gate who said that he has changed enough and doesn't need to anymore. I will share my response: Our potential is far greater! What we are able to offer others is great, a big part of that is our example, we need to continue to change to reach what we are capable of. We can't let the colossal list of flaws we draw up halt us, but we can regularly strive to perfect ourselves with hope as we rely on others, especially our Savior.
I love you all,
Starszy Kiimball
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