I love my mission. I have sought a new love for Poland and I found. I just feel so connected to this land. This previous week passed the first of August - 1 sierpnia - the 70th anniversary of the commencement of the Warsaw Uprising in 1944. At godzina 'w' (w hour - the code name for when the urprising began) which is 17:00 an alarm sounded all over Warsaw and everybody stopped. I was on exchange in Żoliborz so went to Plac Wilsona where there was quite the wydarzenie(event), a huge group of people were gathered. When 17:00 struck and the alarms rang cars, buses, and people stopped. Everyone was dressed in Warsaw Uprising T-shirts, a bunch specifically for Zoliborz, and had hands filled with Polish flags. Some younger guys raised smoking red things and we all paused in remembrance. In remembrance of those that fought, those that died. I love the history of Poland and I cannot wait for the time when I have the opportunity to study more about it!
While Elder Blom and I were coming home last night from visiting less active members we stopped by a memorial by our house. It was for all of the Polish citizens killed by German soldiers during the uprising. It was specifically for Wola (the dzielnica we live in.) There were names under lists of streets representing the places of death. It was surreal to notice the streets we walk each day, the ones we recognize so well have such history lying in their depths. We saw familiar names we had heard before marking individuals and families that had been killed. I feel a personal gratitude to those who fought and gave their lives, sacrificing for others. I also mourn with those that passed with their children and parents as I try to appreciate the devastation that occurred. The effects of World War II and the Communist regime live today here in Poland. Their meaning and significance are felt and seen in the lives of many.
I love Poland. I love the people. I love our church members. I love what I do. I love the missionaries I serve with. I love the situations that I am placed in because I know that my path is guided.
You are probably wondering why I am a on a bit of a high. Well this past week was a tough one. As you have noticed by reading my posts I am prone to crises now and again. Well I had another this past week. Again, different from past ones but I experienced difficulty as always. With my new vision to learn how to combat difficulty rather than not have any I realized that sometimes in life I will just be weak and struggle but I was thinking this week about how I was going to react since I was in the situation. The answer is hope and a reliance on God. I had a lot going through my mind this week. A lot of questioning about balance. Balance. One of the hardest things to attain. I also felt lonely. I want so desperately to build relationships with others but it is hard. I have difficulties often. With these feelings of loneliness came a lack of love for others as I closed off. The reason I am so happy right now is because I am feeling the redeeming power of the Atonement of Christ. Despite my disastrous situation I have been filled with love and hope. I have been focusing greatly on the companionship of the Holy Ghost recently. I love the verse in Nephi where we are reminded that our messages from the Godhead are communicated by thy Holy Spirit. Receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost after baptism is such an inspired proceeding organized by our Father in Heaven. The Holy Ghost purifies and lifts us. He literally lifts us. Not only does He raise us out of spiritual, emotional, or mental turmoil but when I feel the influence of the Holy Ghost I physically experience a weightless, light wave of warmth and love.
My love for the work has also been renewed this week. Of course there are many with whom we speak that do not believe but it has come to my attention that my calling (in a general sense) is to the believers. So many of the people who stop to talk already have faith in Christ, those who don't often note that most of this country does. I feel so blessed that my work to which I have been called is, greatly, to the believers. I get to talk with those that already have so much light and truth in their lives, often they already have a relationship with God. My message is one of change. Not to change your spirituality but share what I have experienced with Christ. I want to share restored truth, which was lost but we have again. I am grateful for the personal nature of our message. That each person must choose to experience and seek for themselves in order to understand. I feel anxiously engaged in the work, something I have been struggling with a little. I am loving it.
Here is a talk by President Monson, I read it this morning and I couldn't help but think of how blessed we are to have a prophet of God called today. Luckily, this talk applies to all: believers and non-believers alike. If you want to learn how to love more in your life then watch/ read this and apply what it says:https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/love-the-essence-of-the-gospel?lang=eng
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